Sunday, December 30, 2007
new yar wishes for all freelancers work at home jobs takers
its en of 2007 and new year 2008 is approaching. experts research reveal there will be lot more increase in work at home opportunities and freelance jobs ill alone get 10 times to the current freelance jobs in India in the first quarter of 2008. Lots of companies are outsourcign there work to freelance individual and companies in India and sub continent countries. so all tha very best to all work at home undertakers and wish u all a very happy and prosperous new year.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Freelance jobs in India
Are you a house wife, student, retired personnel, ex-service men, or a professional looking for part time freelance jobs in India. Freelance jobs gives you the freedom of regular 9 to 6 jobs or other shift jobs according to UK or US clients. In freelance job you decide your own work rules, own working hours, own office break times, dress code etc.
Freelance jobs in India are on the rise and lot of people are looking for making a earning through freelance jobs. The freelance Job market is full of lots of opportunities for freelancers. Job seekers have the option of taking up jobs that suit their time schedules, skills, style and expertise!
Freelance jobs in India are on the rise and lot of people are looking for making a earning through freelance jobs. The freelance Job market is full of lots of opportunities for freelancers. Job seekers have the option of taking up jobs that suit their time schedules, skills, style and expertise!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Differetn work at home opportunities - ways for work at home
Once again posting different work at home opportunities. You can start work at hoe now by option any one of the option that sounds interesting to you. Below is the overview of different profitable work at home opportunities available online.
Data Entry
Document Coding
Virtual Assistants
Legal Transcription
Medical Transcription
Customer Service Reps
Freelance Writers
Proofreaders
Editors
Translators
Telemarketers
Online Tutors
Paid Surveys
Mystery Shopping
I'll keep posting in detail about all these work at home opportunities in detail further. Keep visiting, comments, queries are always welcome.
Data Entry
Document Coding
Virtual Assistants
Legal Transcription
Medical Transcription
Customer Service Reps
Freelance Writers
Proofreaders
Editors
Translators
Telemarketers
Online Tutors
Paid Surveys
Mystery Shopping
I'll keep posting in detail about all these work at home opportunities in detail further. Keep visiting, comments, queries are always welcome.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
100 keyboard short cuts for work at home jobs online professionals
100 keyboard shortcuts: Below are 100 keyboard shortcuts for people who undertake work from home jobs online. Hope this wil make things better for them and more effecietnly thay can handle work at home related jobs.
CTRL+C (Copy)
CTRL+X (Cut)
CTRL+V (Paste)
CTRL+Z (Undo)
DELETE (Delete)
SHIFT+DELETE (Delete the selected item permanently without placing the
item in the Recycle Bin)
CTRL while dragging an item (Copy the selected item)
CTRL+SHIFT while dragging an item (Create a shortcut to the selected
item)
F2 key (Rename the selected item)
CTRL+RIGHT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the
next word)
CTRL+LEFT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the
previous word)
CTRL+DOWN ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next
paragraph)
CTRL+UP ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the
previous paragraph)
CTRL+SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Highlight a block of text)
SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Select more than one item in a
window or on the
desktop, or select text in a document)
CTRL+A (Select all)
F3 key (Search for a file or a folder)
ALT+ENTER (View the properties for the selected item)
ALT+F4 (Close the active item, or quit the active program)
ALT+ENTER (Display the properties of the selected object)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Open the shortcut menu for the active window)
CTRL+F4 (Close the active document in programs that enable you to have
multiple
documents open simultaneously)
ALT+TAB (Switch between the open items)
ALT+ESC (Cycle through items in the order that they had been opened)
F6 key (Cycle through the screen elements in a window or on the desktop)
F4 key (Display the Address bar list in My Computer or Windows Explorer)
SHIFT+F10 (Display the shortcut menu for the selected item)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the System menu for the active window)
CTRL+ESC (Display the Start menu)
ALT+Underlined letter in a menu name (Display the corresponding menu)
Underlined letter in a command name on an open menu (Perform the
corresponding
command)
F10 key (Activate the menu bar in the active program)
RIGHT ARROW (Open the next menu to the right, or open a submenu)
LEFT ARROW (Open the next menu to the left, or close a submenu)
F5 key (Update the active window)
BACKSPACE (View the folder one level up in My Computer or Windows
Explorer)
ESC (Cancel the current task)
SHIFT when you insert a CD-ROM into the CD-ROM drive (Prevent the
CD-ROM from
automatically playing)
Dialog Box Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+TAB (Move forward through the tabs)
CTRL+SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the tabs)
TAB (Move forward through the options)
SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the options)
ALT+Underlined letter (Perform the corresponding command or select the
corresponding
option)
ENTER (Perform the command for the active option or button)
SPACEBAR (Select or clear the check box if the active option is a
check box)
Arrow keys (Select a button if the active option is a group of option
buttons)
F1 key (Display Help)
F4 key (Display the items in the active list)
BACKSPACE (Open a folder one level up if a folder is selected in the
Save As or Open dialog box)
micro$oft Natural Keyboard Shortcuts
Windows Logo (Display or hide the Start menu)
Windows Logo+BREAK (Display the System Properties dialog box)
Windows Logo+D (Display the desktop)
Windows Logo+M (Minimize all of the windows)
Windows Logo+SHIFT+M (Restore the minimized windows)
Windows Logo+E (Open My Computer)
Windows Logo+F (Search for a file or a folder)
CTRL+Windows Logo+F (Search for computers)
Windows Logo+F1 (Display Windows Help)
Windows Logo+ L (Lock the keyboard)
Windows Logo+R (Open the Run dialog box)
Windows Logo+U (Open Utility Manager)
Accessibility Keyboard Shortcuts
Right SHIFT for eight seconds (Switch FilterKeys either on or off)
Left ALT+left SHIFT+PRINT SCREEN (Switch High Contrast either on or off)
Left ALT+left SHIFT+NUM LOCK (Switch the MouseKeys either on or off)
SHIFT five times (Switch the StickyKeys either on or off)
NUM LOCK for five seconds (Switch the ToggleKeys either on or off)
Windows Logo +U (Open Utility Manager)
Windows Explorer Keyboard Shortcuts
END (Display the bottom of the active window)
HOME (Display the top of the active window)
NUM LOCK+Asterisk sign (*) (Display all of the subfolders that are
under the selected
folder)
NUM LOCK+Plus sign (+) (Display the contents of the selected folder)
NUM LOCK+Minus sign (-) (Collapse the selected folder)
LEFT ARROW (Collapse the current selection if it is expanded, or
select the parent folder)
RIGHT ARROW (Display the current selection if it is collapsed, or
select the first subfolder)
Shortcut Keys for Character Map
After you double-click a character on the grid of characters, you can
move through the
grid by using the keyboard shortcuts:
RIGHT ARROW (Move to the right or to the beginning of the next line)
LEFT ARROW (Move to the left or to the end of the previous line)
UP ARROW (Move up one row)
DOWN ARROW (Move down one row)
PAGE UP (Move up one screen at a time)
PAGE DOWN (Move down one screen at a time)
HOME (Move to the beginning of the line)
END (Move to the end of the line)
CTRL+HOME (Move to the first character)
CTRL+END (Move to the last character)
SPACEBAR (Switch between Enlarged and Normal mode when a character is
selected)
micro$oft Management Console (MMC) Main Window Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+O (Open a saved console)
CTRL+N (Open a new console)
CTRL+S (Save the open console)
CTRL+M (Add or remove a console item)
CTRL+W (Open a new window)
F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the MMC window menu)
ALT+F4 (Close the console)
ALT+A (Display the Action menu)
ALT+V (Display the View menu)
ALT+F (Display the File menu)
ALT+O (Display the Favorites menu)
MMC Console Window Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+P (Print the current page or active pane)
ALT+Minus sign (-) (Display the window menu for the active console
window)
SHIFT+F10 (Display the Action shortcut menu for the selected item)
F1 key (Open the Help topic, if any, for the selected item)
F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)
CTRL+F10 (Maximize the active console window)
CTRL+F5 (Restore the active console window)
ALT+ENTER (Display the Properties dialog box, if any, for the selected
item)
F2 key (Rename the selected item)
CTRL+F4 (Close the active console window. When a console has only one
console
window, this shortcut closes the console)
Remote Desktop Connection Navigation
CTRL+ALT+END (Open the m*cro$oft Windows NT Security dialog box)
ALT+PAGE UP (Switch between programs from left to right)
ALT+PAGE DOWN (Switch between programs from right to left)
ALT+INSERT (Cycle through the programs in most recently used order)
ALT+HOME (Display the Start menu)
CTRL+ALT+BREAK (Switch the client computer between a window and a full
screen)
ALT+DELETE (Display the Windows menu)
CTRL+ALT+Minus sign (-) (Place a snapshot of the active window in the
client on the
Terminal server clipboard and provide the same functionality as
pressing PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)
CTRL+ALT+Plus sign (+) (Place a snapshot of the entire client window
area on the Terminal server clipboard and provide the same
functionality as pressing ALT+PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)
m*cro$oft Internet Explorer Navigation
CTRL+B (Open the Organize Favorites dialog box)
CTRL+E (Open the Search bar)
CTRL+F (Start the Find utility)
CTRL+H (Open the History bar)
CTRL+I (Open the Favorites bar)
CTRL+L (Open the Open dialog box)
CTRL+N (Start another instance of the browser with the same Web address)
CTRL+O (Open the Open dialog box, the same as CTRL+L)
CTRL+P (Open the Print dialog box)
CTRL+R (Update the current Web page)
CTRL+W (Close the current window)
CTRL+C (Copy)
CTRL+X (Cut)
CTRL+V (Paste)
CTRL+Z (Undo)
DELETE (Delete)
SHIFT+DELETE (Delete the selected item permanently without placing the
item in the Recycle Bin)
CTRL while dragging an item (Copy the selected item)
CTRL+SHIFT while dragging an item (Create a shortcut to the selected
item)
F2 key (Rename the selected item)
CTRL+RIGHT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the
next word)
CTRL+LEFT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the
previous word)
CTRL+DOWN ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next
paragraph)
CTRL+UP ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the
previous paragraph)
CTRL+SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Highlight a block of text)
SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Select more than one item in a
window or on the
desktop, or select text in a document)
CTRL+A (Select all)
F3 key (Search for a file or a folder)
ALT+ENTER (View the properties for the selected item)
ALT+F4 (Close the active item, or quit the active program)
ALT+ENTER (Display the properties of the selected object)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Open the shortcut menu for the active window)
CTRL+F4 (Close the active document in programs that enable you to have
multiple
documents open simultaneously)
ALT+TAB (Switch between the open items)
ALT+ESC (Cycle through items in the order that they had been opened)
F6 key (Cycle through the screen elements in a window or on the desktop)
F4 key (Display the Address bar list in My Computer or Windows Explorer)
SHIFT+F10 (Display the shortcut menu for the selected item)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the System menu for the active window)
CTRL+ESC (Display the Start menu)
ALT+Underlined letter in a menu name (Display the corresponding menu)
Underlined letter in a command name on an open menu (Perform the
corresponding
command)
F10 key (Activate the menu bar in the active program)
RIGHT ARROW (Open the next menu to the right, or open a submenu)
LEFT ARROW (Open the next menu to the left, or close a submenu)
F5 key (Update the active window)
BACKSPACE (View the folder one level up in My Computer or Windows
Explorer)
ESC (Cancel the current task)
SHIFT when you insert a CD-ROM into the CD-ROM drive (Prevent the
CD-ROM from
automatically playing)
Dialog Box Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+TAB (Move forward through the tabs)
CTRL+SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the tabs)
TAB (Move forward through the options)
SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the options)
ALT+Underlined letter (Perform the corresponding command or select the
corresponding
option)
ENTER (Perform the command for the active option or button)
SPACEBAR (Select or clear the check box if the active option is a
check box)
Arrow keys (Select a button if the active option is a group of option
buttons)
F1 key (Display Help)
F4 key (Display the items in the active list)
BACKSPACE (Open a folder one level up if a folder is selected in the
Save As or Open dialog box)
micro$oft Natural Keyboard Shortcuts
Windows Logo (Display or hide the Start menu)
Windows Logo+BREAK (Display the System Properties dialog box)
Windows Logo+D (Display the desktop)
Windows Logo+M (Minimize all of the windows)
Windows Logo+SHIFT+M (Restore the minimized windows)
Windows Logo+E (Open My Computer)
Windows Logo+F (Search for a file or a folder)
CTRL+Windows Logo+F (Search for computers)
Windows Logo+F1 (Display Windows Help)
Windows Logo+ L (Lock the keyboard)
Windows Logo+R (Open the Run dialog box)
Windows Logo+U (Open Utility Manager)
Accessibility Keyboard Shortcuts
Right SHIFT for eight seconds (Switch FilterKeys either on or off)
Left ALT+left SHIFT+PRINT SCREEN (Switch High Contrast either on or off)
Left ALT+left SHIFT+NUM LOCK (Switch the MouseKeys either on or off)
SHIFT five times (Switch the StickyKeys either on or off)
NUM LOCK for five seconds (Switch the ToggleKeys either on or off)
Windows Logo +U (Open Utility Manager)
Windows Explorer Keyboard Shortcuts
END (Display the bottom of the active window)
HOME (Display the top of the active window)
NUM LOCK+Asterisk sign (*) (Display all of the subfolders that are
under the selected
folder)
NUM LOCK+Plus sign (+) (Display the contents of the selected folder)
NUM LOCK+Minus sign (-) (Collapse the selected folder)
LEFT ARROW (Collapse the current selection if it is expanded, or
select the parent folder)
RIGHT ARROW (Display the current selection if it is collapsed, or
select the first subfolder)
Shortcut Keys for Character Map
After you double-click a character on the grid of characters, you can
move through the
grid by using the keyboard shortcuts:
RIGHT ARROW (Move to the right or to the beginning of the next line)
LEFT ARROW (Move to the left or to the end of the previous line)
UP ARROW (Move up one row)
DOWN ARROW (Move down one row)
PAGE UP (Move up one screen at a time)
PAGE DOWN (Move down one screen at a time)
HOME (Move to the beginning of the line)
END (Move to the end of the line)
CTRL+HOME (Move to the first character)
CTRL+END (Move to the last character)
SPACEBAR (Switch between Enlarged and Normal mode when a character is
selected)
micro$oft Management Console (MMC) Main Window Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+O (Open a saved console)
CTRL+N (Open a new console)
CTRL+S (Save the open console)
CTRL+M (Add or remove a console item)
CTRL+W (Open a new window)
F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the MMC window menu)
ALT+F4 (Close the console)
ALT+A (Display the Action menu)
ALT+V (Display the View menu)
ALT+F (Display the File menu)
ALT+O (Display the Favorites menu)
MMC Console Window Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+P (Print the current page or active pane)
ALT+Minus sign (-) (Display the window menu for the active console
window)
SHIFT+F10 (Display the Action shortcut menu for the selected item)
F1 key (Open the Help topic, if any, for the selected item)
F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)
CTRL+F10 (Maximize the active console window)
CTRL+F5 (Restore the active console window)
ALT+ENTER (Display the Properties dialog box, if any, for the selected
item)
F2 key (Rename the selected item)
CTRL+F4 (Close the active console window. When a console has only one
console
window, this shortcut closes the console)
Remote Desktop Connection Navigation
CTRL+ALT+END (Open the m*cro$oft Windows NT Security dialog box)
ALT+PAGE UP (Switch between programs from left to right)
ALT+PAGE DOWN (Switch between programs from right to left)
ALT+INSERT (Cycle through the programs in most recently used order)
ALT+HOME (Display the Start menu)
CTRL+ALT+BREAK (Switch the client computer between a window and a full
screen)
ALT+DELETE (Display the Windows menu)
CTRL+ALT+Minus sign (-) (Place a snapshot of the active window in the
client on the
Terminal server clipboard and provide the same functionality as
pressing PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)
CTRL+ALT+Plus sign (+) (Place a snapshot of the entire client window
area on the Terminal server clipboard and provide the same
functionality as pressing ALT+PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)
m*cro$oft Internet Explorer Navigation
CTRL+B (Open the Organize Favorites dialog box)
CTRL+E (Open the Search bar)
CTRL+F (Start the Find utility)
CTRL+H (Open the History bar)
CTRL+I (Open the Favorites bar)
CTRL+L (Open the Open dialog box)
CTRL+N (Start another instance of the browser with the same Web address)
CTRL+O (Open the Open dialog box, the same as CTRL+L)
CTRL+P (Open the Print dialog box)
CTRL+R (Update the current Web page)
CTRL+W (Close the current window)
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Online Jobs and Freelance Opportunities that Match your Lifestyle
Online jobs and online freelancing have become the epitome of employee’s individual career needs and job advancement pace. More and more people today are conscious about spending more individual quality time, instead of being confined to a monotonous and dull office environment. Online jobs allow people to devote time to their spiritual life, to their families, hobbies or pets. Freelancing has also become a preferred career alternative to thousands of professionals who strive for greater job flexibility, project variety and professional networking. Finding an online job or freelance opportunities that match your lifestyle may be challenging, but not impossible. Learn how to improve your career by finding rewarding online jobs and freelance projects.
Locating good online jobs might seem quite easy, and in fact it is. However, you should be really careful when choosing the particular provider of online jobs. The easiest way to find good online jobs is to search for a legitimate online jobs portal featuring listings of legitimate online job offers. Otherwise, it’s also possible to search for online jobs in a search engine, but that will be very time-consuming and you might not end up with the best job opportunities that are out there.
Some of the most common online jobs are data entry, data processing, taking paid surveys, doing mystery shopping, and participating in paid focus groups. All these require no previous qualification or job experience, and are readily available to anyone who wishes some extra cash without wasting much effort or time. Online jobs such as data entry, paid surveys, paid email and mystery shopping are very flexible and do not disrupt your usual routine or mainstream career. In fact, you are able to both work your full-time or part-time jobs, and earn some extra cash and prizes with paid surveys, paid email or another online job of your choice.
Professionals, who wish to diversify their careers with more interesting projects or learn new skills on the field, may find great freelance opportunities as software developers, graphic designers, copywriters, illustrators, freelance writing and more. Just by browsing the listings of online jobs portals, you may find amazing new opportunities to widen your professional horizons, while earning an additional income.
Having an online job is not an extravagant hobby, but a very viable and rewarding career path. Regardless of your previous experience, academic and social background or career endeavors, with online jobs you are able to earn some additional cash, earn great extra prizes and gain helpful skills. You can start earning extra income immediately by joining a free online jobs portal and opting in for the online jobs that match your lifestyle.
About the author
Author is the webmaster of http://www.selectonlinejobs.com and focuses primarily on work at home jobs related topics such as freelance, data entry jobs etc.
Other Online jobs realted articles -
Locating good online jobs might seem quite easy, and in fact it is. However, you should be really careful when choosing the particular provider of online jobs. The easiest way to find good online jobs is to search for a legitimate online jobs portal featuring listings of legitimate online job offers. Otherwise, it’s also possible to search for online jobs in a search engine, but that will be very time-consuming and you might not end up with the best job opportunities that are out there.
Some of the most common online jobs are data entry, data processing, taking paid surveys, doing mystery shopping, and participating in paid focus groups. All these require no previous qualification or job experience, and are readily available to anyone who wishes some extra cash without wasting much effort or time. Online jobs such as data entry, paid surveys, paid email and mystery shopping are very flexible and do not disrupt your usual routine or mainstream career. In fact, you are able to both work your full-time or part-time jobs, and earn some extra cash and prizes with paid surveys, paid email or another online job of your choice.
Professionals, who wish to diversify their careers with more interesting projects or learn new skills on the field, may find great freelance opportunities as software developers, graphic designers, copywriters, illustrators, freelance writing and more. Just by browsing the listings of online jobs portals, you may find amazing new opportunities to widen your professional horizons, while earning an additional income.
Having an online job is not an extravagant hobby, but a very viable and rewarding career path. Regardless of your previous experience, academic and social background or career endeavors, with online jobs you are able to earn some additional cash, earn great extra prizes and gain helpful skills. You can start earning extra income immediately by joining a free online jobs portal and opting in for the online jobs that match your lifestyle.
About the author
Author is the webmaster of http://www.selectonlinejobs.com and focuses primarily on work at home jobs related topics such as freelance, data entry jobs etc.
Other Online jobs realted articles -
Friday, December 14, 2007
11 tips to grow beyond the start-up phase : Grow your business
11 tips to grow beyond the start-up phase
HIRE PEOPLE WHO ARE BETER AT THE JOB THAN YOU ARE
It’s fact that companies are built by people, and the best people build the best and most profitable companies. Put simply, great employees may cost you 20 to 30% more in wages, but they can be twice as productive as mediocre employees. Invest in good people.
PLACE HIGH URGENCY IN VERYTHING YOU DO
Always do everything you can do. Too many people treat their businesses as 9 to 5 jobs. Never put some thing off until tomorrow if you can do it right now.
GET CUSTOMERS COMING BACK
The road to profitability is through repeat business. Too few business owners set themselves up for long term success .Your business grown when you add regular new customers on top of existing regular customers. Think of it this way: What if every customer you ever got stayed for life? How many regular buyers would you have?
MAKE DECISIONS QUICKLY
New companies don’t have the time or resources to stand still. General H Norman Schwarzkopf once said,” When placed in command, take charge.” It’s better to make decision and move than to stand still.
DELIVER MORE THAN YOU PROMISE
If you tell a customer it’ll be three days, deliver in two. If you think it’ll be two hours, say three hours and surprise them. This is the best form of marketing ever.
PRICE YOURSELF FOR PROFIT
Don’t ever be the cheapest. You are the little guy; you don’t have economies of scale. Big companies can make up in volume what they lack in margin. You can’t.
NEVER SPEND A RUPE YOU DON’T HAVE TO
You don’t need a new desk, you need a cheap desk. Too many new business owners go and buy the best stuff because they think image is important. Listen, when you get profitable, you can have a big mahogany desk. Right now, just get a desk.
SET A BIG VISION
Start small, finish big should be the title of your book. Don’t aim to the best dog trainer in your city-aim to be the best in the country. Remember, building a business is a 10- year plan, not a one-year plan.
MARKETING IS A MATH
Don’t ever let an advertising sales representative teach you anything about marketing .They will say dumb thins like, “Half your advertising works and half doesn’t-and you will never know which half.” Rubbish. If an ad that costs Rs 100 gets you 100 back in profit, it’s a good ad. One other tip: Image advertising doesn’t make sense when you are not yet profitable.
LEARN TO SELL
There’s nothing worse than a business owner who is not willing to sell-or even learn to sell. No company makes money unless someone sells some thing, and you can’t just rely on people you hire to do the selling for you. If you want to grow a profitable business, you’ve got to learn sales yourself.
IT’S SIMPLER THAN YOU THINK
Before most people even go into business, they work it up to be far more complex than it really is. Business is very simple: Sell at a profit and keep at it. Overcomplicating the process won’t help anyone. If your business seems too complex, it probably is-so make it simple and watch yourself succeed
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
HRD NOTICE OF A COMPANY TO ALL EMPLOYEES
HRD NOTICE OF A COMPANY TO ALL EMPLOYEES
Dear STAFF ,
Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to
raise the efficiency of our firm.
_______ ___
1) TRANSPORTATION:
It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.
a) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
b) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we
assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
c) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore
you do not need a raise.
2) ANNUAL LEAVE :
Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow! said 1
employee).
- They are called SUNDAYs.
3) LUNCH BREAK :
a) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
b) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
maintain their average figure.
c) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed
to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
4) SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.
- If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
5) TOILET USE :
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets.
a) There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles.
b) At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll
will retract, the door will open and a picture will be taken.
c) After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company
bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
d) Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to
pay your salary.
6) SURGERY :
As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.
- You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.
- To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
7) INTERNET USAGE :
All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted
from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges
will be deducted from your salary.
- Important Note: Charges applicable as Rs.20 per minute as we have
4MB connection.
Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for
next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months
salary.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a
positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations,
irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations,
contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Dear STAFF ,
Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to
raise the efficiency of our firm.
_______ ___
1) TRANSPORTATION:
It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.
a) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
b) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we
assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
c) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore
you do not need a raise.
2) ANNUAL LEAVE :
Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow! said 1
employee).
- They are called SUNDAYs.
3) LUNCH BREAK :
a) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
b) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
maintain their average figure.
c) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed
to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
4) SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.
- If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
5) TOILET USE :
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets.
a) There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles.
b) At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll
will retract, the door will open and a picture will be taken.
c) After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company
bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
d) Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to
pay your salary.
6) SURGERY :
As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.
- You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.
- To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
7) INTERNET USAGE :
All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted
from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges
will be deducted from your salary.
- Important Note: Charges applicable as Rs.20 per minute as we have
4MB connection.
Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for
next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months
salary.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a
positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations,
irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations,
contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Labels:
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Thursday, December 06, 2007
How to sleep at work : Benefits of work at home
Hi all,
I am posting one of the best rather bestest benefits of choosing work at home jobs is that if not in modd to work or felling sleepy, juss swtich of out compute or laptop and go to sleep. Whereas in full tim job you need to spend whole time working or you take a break or leave.
But every problem have a solution when I feel sleepy in my office I justs try to go for a break have few fags of cigarettes and if still If I feel sleepy then put my headphones lay back on chair put my opne hand over mouse and second over keywords and juss sleep. Thank god I have been never caught till today. But there are other methods also how to sleep at work juss have a look at pictures below.
I am posting one of the best rather bestest benefits of choosing work at home jobs is that if not in modd to work or felling sleepy, juss swtich of out compute or laptop and go to sleep. Whereas in full tim job you need to spend whole time working or you take a break or leave.
But every problem have a solution when I feel sleepy in my office I justs try to go for a break have few fags of cigarettes and if still If I feel sleepy then put my headphones lay back on chair put my opne hand over mouse and second over keywords and juss sleep. Thank god I have been never caught till today. But there are other methods also how to sleep at work juss have a look at pictures below.
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